doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
