belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
