??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
