Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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