Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
