he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
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