I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
