When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
