is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
