I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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