Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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