Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
