So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
