I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
