That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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