Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
