There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
