I wish I only lived at night.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
