ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
