were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
