Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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