Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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