He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
