Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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