Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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