thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
