So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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