Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
