and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize