guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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