i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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