I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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