why didn't you poke me back
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
