Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I said "one day" and that day is not today
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
