Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
