too bad you live with your parents still
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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