??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Come share oat with me in your robe
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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