Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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