Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
