How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
