DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
