Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
