i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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