After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
