I accidentally had phone sex last night
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
