I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
