I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
