she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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