This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
