it hurts more in the daytime
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
