i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
