OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
