Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
