dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
