I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Randomize
