My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
You can't motorboat a personality
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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