Fine. I'll sleep in my office
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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