my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Well I just put wine in my tea
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
