You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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