i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
