and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
