How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
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