I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
This is the high leading the old right now
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Randomize
